Being Willing to Have a Look

God is cleaning me up. He is using John Eldredge's book, Walking with God. In connection with a chapter called "Beware of Agreements," I asked, "Lord, what agreement have I made? What is pinning my heart down? Reveal any wrong agreements I've made?" I wrote the questions in my journal, not expecting to find agreements, except possibly positive ones. After all, I am a very positive person.

I went on to the next chapter, "Being Willing to Have a Look." I asked, "Lord what have I been avoiding? What don't I want to face or deal with?" An immediate truth filled my mind. I have been avoiding meaningful relationship with my siblings. I only relate to one of my four brothers. Why? It stems from an agreement. Many years ago when I was first married, someone mentioned that my relationship with my brothers could only be superficial because they didn't go to church. At the time I agreed.

For 30 years I have lived with that premise. I don't remember my brothers' birthdays. We don't celebrate Christmas together. We rarely talk on the phone. Finally last year when our parents died we were forced to spend time together. During that short, sad period of family history each brother showed himself loving and lovable.

With the help of the Lord, I am attempting to reconnect. Thank you Lord for highlighting my unholy agreement and forgive me. I can't reconstruct the lost years, but I can set a new pattern. Help me Lord.

Cover Design for my Book

These lilies were given to us as bulbs by one of my husband's clients. We planted them six inches deep (as directed) around the big rock under the red maple tree at the front of the house.

Spiritual Attacks

Have you ever been with a group of women you can trust completely? You can share your untried opinions, tell your most secret thoughts, reveal unsavoury history, be completely vulnerable and know you are safe? That's what our Thursday morning study group is like. This past Thursday nine of us gathered around Linda's delicious cheeseball at Dini's to share our ideas and insights on, "You shall Know Them by Their Fruit" and "Do It Now" (pp 50-56 in John Eldredges book, Walking with God). We could feel God's love in the love and respect we held for each other.

Depending on our background and circumstances we each have ways we naturally deal with spiritual attack. We read psalms, we praise God, we pray in tongues, we plead the blood, we call on Jesus' name, we put on the armour, and sometimes we out and out rebuke the enemy.

Sometimes we don't recognize we are being attacked. We have a hard time believing that there is an enemy that hates us. Who could hate me?

Sometimes the enemy simply distracts us, gets us doing anything rather than study the Word.

We concluded our best strategy is to stay connected to our Lord and follow His direction like the well-trained soldiers we are.

Those are the generalities. I'd be breaking a trust if I shared the raw, real, right from the heart stuff.

I'm Joining Toastmasters

"Have you ever tried this - asked God what to read in the Bible?" That was an intriguing question presented in the lesson for our study of Walking With God by John Eldredge. I like intriguing questions. So, I asked God, "What should I read in the Bible. In my mind, I heard, "I Corinthians 15" which is exactly where I left off reading on my way through the Bible.

About five days later, yesterday morning, when I had finished both books of Corinthians, I asked the Lord again, "What should I read?" I also asked Him if I should join the toastmasters club. I have been toying with the toastmaster idea for some time. I never did anything about it. But soon my book will be coming out and I will want to promote it. Promoting means public speaking. I don't do that very well. So the toastmaster question was at the forefront of my mind, even ahead of, "What should I read?"

I presented my two questions to the Lord and waited. I heard, "Titus 2." I flipped over to Titus chapter 2 in my Message Bible and read, "Your job is to speak out..." The rest of the chapter is pretty good too. I underlined most of it.

Last night I attended a Steeltown Toastmasters meeting. It was fun. I'll be joining next week. Thank you Lord.

My Grandchildren

Julianna and Owen Langelaar.