The Author’s Apology for her Book (Blooming)

This Pilgrim’s Progress (Thank you, John Bunyan)

Now I see
what God was doing in me
while I was writing
the ordinary, not-to-exciting
things in this book.
He made me look
inside my heart,
so I could part
with every rotten thing
that was my king
instead of Him.

My love was dim.
My head was strong.
My witness wrong.
I tended to exaggerate
to make my story great;
then wonder if the lie
was something I could justify.

Righteousness for me
could be measured in degree
of work not done Sunday
for that was one day
set aside for God
in which to laud
Him with thanks and praise.
Work–we did on other days.

I would rationalize my sin,
getting ticketed again and again.
If I did something badly
I would nod my head sadly,
“In heaven when I’m not a debtor,
things will be better.”
I took comfort in the fact
there were others with lives more cracked.

I minimized my mistakes
turning oceans into lakes.
I buried my guilt like a bone
instead of looking to Jesus alone.

I said prayers to gain personal pleasure
and if the answers didn’t measure
down to my self-centred wishes
(I wanted fewer loaves and more fishes),
“Thanks to God” I wouldn’t say–
No way.

I held desire in my heart
for something meaningful to start:
birdwatching, maybe was the thing
or collecting 4,000 bells to ring.
Yet my love for God I would ration
while He longed to be my passion.

The fourth commandment figured big in my book
but the poor, the needy, I could overlook.
The Lord’s Supper was white, unnourishing bread
which symbolized Jesus dead
on the cross for unworthy me.
I really couldn’t see
the power I had in His victory
over sin and death and hell.
I had trouble, as well,
when I became 40 years of age
in getting beyond the Ecclesiastes’ sage
who lapsed into the futility
of human ingenuity.

When my house was invaded by ants,
I didn’t give prayer a chance.
When the store sent me a damaged refrigerator,
I didn’t understand the lesson until later:
a carnal Christian will choose what looks good;
a Spirit-led Christian will take what he should.
Leah became a grandmother in Jesus’ line
Jacob thought only Rachel as fine.

When I was plagued with an ache in the back,
promises to exercise I did not lack.
My good effort would fix the wrong,
I really didn’t need Jesus to be strong.

Then one spring I asked God to help me.
This became the life-changing key.
He led me into an hour spent with Him each day–
my carnal self could die this way.
He convicted me,
of Him, never ashamed to be.

I held Him in awe,
yet went by the letter of the law,
when I promised my daughter a toy
I chose one, not to bring joy,
but just to keep my word.

And when strange teaching I heard
from someone who Christian professed to be
I didn’t make an effort to help her see
Jesus had to be in the middle
or Christianity wasn’t worth a diddle.

Punishing my daughter brought pleasure–
What does that measure?
I’m proud to announce I love my lovely neighbour–
it means I’ve kept a commandment that’s major.
I still have such a long way to go.
This process seems so slow.
Yet now, when I direct my passion to the basketball net,
a desire to be passionate for Jesus I get.

I took for granted my earthly dad.
For him, love and respect I had,
but I hardly let him know!
My relationship with God was just so!

I wanted to witness to Carol,
I knew her life was in peril,
but, my words came out slack–
Holy Spirit power was in lack.

A Vineyard experience opened my heart,
the sinful ways must depart.
The Holy Spirit came upon me–
my life never the same to be.
I was a baby with surgeon’s tools.
I didn’t know the rules.
For all the preaching,
I had no teaching.
When the spiritual realm opened wide,
I was but a babe inside.
The warfare was serious.
I was delirious.
Jesus had to be my Lord
before I could wield the sword.

I got ticketed again,
and still justified my sin.
I was making guesses
at how to clean up others’ messes,
so God sent me a blessin’
with a garbage day lesson.
He also sent us a baby girl.
Now we were in a whirl–
Baptise this child?
Or do something wild
and let our church know our desire
believer baptism by immersion to require.
We were in a lurch,
but went with the church.

In Calvinist circles my views became less shareable
So I resorted to using the parable.
I talked about “Quaker” material, carpet-time and new wine,
Bible as direction sheet, angels as firemen fine.
In the parable of the membership card:
to “service engine soon” would be hard.
It would mean leaving our church, our friends...
everything on which social life depends,
and finding a place of membership
where we agreed with the leadership.

My dogmas were dying.
I was no longer buying
my old view that the Holy Spirit had changed,
that He had rearranged
the way
He works today.
I began to know the facts
as in Acts:
that’s how
He works then and now!
But, He won’t operate
if I don’t co-operate.

The Lord was showing us
we were creating a spiritual muss
by going outside our church for direction
and losing our spiritual protection.
So we left our loving church family
to go where we could accept the theology.

The race wasn’t done
but, now we could run.
As a head-Christian I thought I was doing fine;
now as a heart-Christian I knew I was out of line.
I had been a self-righteous, white-washed sepulchre,
until I realized Jesus, anointed with sweet-smelling myrrh,
seated at the right hand of my heavenly Father
washed me in blood, not just water.

I’m no longer a debtor;
He made me better.
In His righteousness I can stand
to do all He planned,
with power from on high,
but my old self has to die.

Now presenting spiritual truth
through my uncouth
deeds
is like filtering pure water through dusty dried weeds.
What makes me think
you want to drink?
If you must know
that the Spirit-led life is the way to go,
the Bible is the place
to stick your face.

10 Ways to Observe Literacy Day

1) Read a Book

2) Read a Blog

3) Read your shampoo bottle

4) Read the labels on all the items you use today

5) Buy reading glasses

6) Turn the sound off on your TV and read lips

7) Go out for dinner and read the menu

8) Read someone’s mind and do what they are thinking

9) Read out loud at a street corner

10) Or go on a reading fast - don’t read anything all day

A Missed Opportunity?

One morning last week I left women’s group all fired up about bringing Jesus to the people around me.

That afternoon my agenda includes visits to the Christian bookstore, the Dutch store, the health food store and the grocery store in that order. I will keep my eyes and ears open for opportunities, I tell myself.

At my first stop I meet my friend Lena. She is in deep conversation with a lady who is thanking Lena for praying with her drug-addicted son who seemed to have changed his life around after Lena spoke to him on the phone.

The woman is practically in tears as she tells me about the difference in her son.

“Come fishing with me,” Lena says to me after I pay for my book. She already has another fish on her line. She has heard a woman talking about her terrible circumstances and has boldly asked if she wanted prayer. They were looking for a quiet corner.

“It’s already 2 o’clock and I have a whole afternoon of things to do.” I say as I back out of the store. I didn’t want to stay. I didn’t want to be part of what Lena is doing.

As Lena readily admitted, she was drugged up. “If God can use a donkey, He can use me while I’m on drugs,” she whispers. “Come fishing with me?”

What would you have done in my place?

My Great Fortune

Last week I received a wonderful email. The email was from Mellisa Graham. Have you heard of her? I haven’t either. She has a very British name, yet writes as though English is her second language. I think she spelt her name wrong.

I call this a wonderful email because it is full of wonderful news for me, not so wonderful for poor Mellisa, but she is not asking for sympathy or even compassion. I think she just wants to get on with her death.

This poor 73 three year old lady has been dieing of cancer for about 2 years, although she is going for an operation (later today according to the email).

‘Poor’ is not the word I should use to describe Mellisa. She has a lot of money. Mellisa doesn’t even know me and she is leaving me 25 million dollars. I can’t begin to guess what she is giving to the people she actually knows.

She wants me to use the money to do the good work of the lord.

She is so humble about this. She doesn’t seem to want to meet me or find out exactly how I will use the money. She simply passed me over to her lawyer.

Some people are so trusting.

The Crokinole Champ's Secret

Every Christmas Marty and his brother-in-law have a game of crokinole. Every Christmas Marty wins. His secret: he has flat fingernails.

We Shop at Costco (sort of)

My husband handed me our first ever dividend cheque from Costco. Since we joined Costco about a year ago we have been there approximately 5 times. We have bought two cakes, a glass pitcher which I love, a huge bag of chips which broke open and spilled in the freezer, a potted yellow lily, two bags of kitty litter, a carton of pop and we had our passport pictures taken at Costco.

Mostly I drive past the Costco parking lot with no desire to go in. The place is always packed. Most items come in big or bigger. I have to show a special I.D. to get in and am required to show my receipt on the way out. All these things irritate me.

That’s probably why our dividend cheque only came to 69 cents.

Drinking at the Virtual Fountain of Youth

A wee game of wii.

Yesterday I was 37, the day before I was 72, Sunday I was 32. My Wii age is up and down like a horse on the merry-go-round.

“But Mom, that is not a true test of anything,” says my daughter, Amanda, who is taking three math courses in her program at McGill this semester and knows about that sort of thing. I believe her, but I am addicted to testing my Wii age. I think this is because of the way the test is set up.

The Wii test claims to measure balance, speed and stamina as it takes the devotee through three exercises in tennis, baseball, golf or boxing in seemingly random combinations. I believe the exercises of the day are calculated to disprove the results of the previous day. This keeps me coming back.

When I learn that I am 28, I want to prove I can stay 28 no matter what the Wii throws my way. When I am 79 (the oldest I have have ever been) I want to regain my youth.

Speaking of youth, please excuse me, I must check my age.

Today I am 66.

Unleashing The Power of Prayer

Monthly, weekly and daily throughout our region, Christians from many denominations are humbly yet boldly uniting in prayer for our community. These are prayer warriors...

Read about covering our communites with the Power of Prayer in the January/February edition of the Beacon at Fellowshiphall.ca