Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Do Blonde Jokes Offend You?

Even though I'm a blonde, I laugh at blonde jokes. I think this is because I know they are not true. I know I'm not dumb.

But, tests show that the dumb blonde stereotype is so deeply embedded in our culture that people do judge blonde women as less intelligent than brunettes.

Do blonde jokes offend you?

Do you consider blondes as less intelligent beings?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Sticky Evangelism

At MissionFest in Toronto the Christian Farmers of Ontario were handing out walking sticks. When I saw my friend William with one, I realized I wanted one of those sticks for our occasional Sunday afternoon hikes in the Dundas Valley.

I discovered these were no ordinary walking sticks. These were evangelism walking sticks.

Jesus is Lord is printed up the side of the stick and a leather bracelet with coloured beads is threaded through the top of the stick. A small pamphlet explaining how to use to beads to tell the Salvation story accompanies the walking stick.

At MissionFest there were line-ups to get these sticks. On Friday afternoon a number of home school kids got hold of the sticks and found they made lovely swords. People in nearby booths found this very dangerous (a person with a ministry to Muslims, revealed this to me when I stopped at her booth, walking stick in hand).

The man who gave me the stick at the Christian Farmer’s booth made sure I had the pamphlet and had me repeat the beaded Salvation story.

The gold bead represents Heaven. Jesus came from Heaven to earth. The black bead represents sin. I was in a state of sin. The red bead represents the blood of Jesus. He died for my black sin. The white bead represents purity. Jesus’ red blood made me pure, freed me from the black sin. The green bead represents growth (which ties in nicely with Christian Farmers—that’s nowhere in the pamphlet, by-the-way).

On my way home to Hamilton from MissionFest I missed my usual turnoff down the 427 and then I missed the 403 as well (I didn’t see the 427 and I was in the wrong lane to catch the 403), so I simply continued along the 401 to take Highway 6 south to Hamilton, not the most efficient route but it works.

When I got to the 6, I managed to make the turnoff, but for some reason my vehicle ended up in the part of the ramp that went north instead of south. This was okay because I could turn around at a plaza with a sub shop, and a convenience store.

By this time I was feeling a little hungry, so I parked in front of the sub shop and went into the convenience store to buy a chocolate bar. I was only a little hungry.

When I reached into my pocket for the money to give the young man at the cash, I pulled out the pamphlet from the Christian Farmers. Instead of putting this back into my pocket I passed it over to the cashier. I told him I had picked it up at a conference and he could have it.

When I got back to the van, I felt a Holy Spirit nudge to give the stick to the young man as well. So I grabbed the stick and headed back into the store to give it to the young man. I explained the Salvation story using the beads.

He listened carefully, then asked, “I can keep it?”


“Thank you.”

I left.

I don’t know if that young Asian fellow was a Christian, a Muslim or an atheist. I just know I had to give him the stick that proclaimed Jesus as Lord.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I Got to MissionFest Despite My GPS

It’s a good thing I know that Markham Road is in Scarborough or I would have listened to my GPS and headed up to Brampton. It’s a good thing I was certain MissionFest was in Scarborough or I would have doubted that Markham Road is in Scarborough and would have possibly listened to my GPS at the 18 opportunities it gave me to turn around as I doggedly headed across Toronto on the 401 toward Markham Road.

On occasion I have viewed following a GPS as a picture of what it is like to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. You can trust the Holy Spirit to guide you just as you can trust your GPS to get you where you have to go.

But, sometimes the GPS gets it wrong. Maybe I put the address in wrong. Maybe because I haven’t updated the GPS, it is not aware of a 1250 on Markham Road in Scarborough which happens to be a brand new building.

The Holy Spirit never gets it wrong. But, sometimes we get the Holy Spirit wrong. Maybe our spirit isn’t in tune with what He is really saying. Maybe we try to hear what we want to hear. If what we are hearing doesn’t line up with the Bible, we can know this is not the Holy Spirit speaking.

I knew my GPS was wrong because I knew a bit about Toronto.

If I know the Bible says “Thou shall not steal” then I know the Holy Spirit won’t tell me to rob a bank even for a good cause. God can’t contradict Himself. His Word is truth and His Spirit speaks only truth.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Spring and Cleaning

I cleaned out my freezer last week.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Speaker Available

I hate to admit it, but my amusing, thought-provoking book is not selling itself fast enough. It needs more exposure.

My speeches, also rather amusing and thought-provoking, are only being heard by the dozen or so people at Steeltown Toastmasters. Most of these people have bought a copy of my book, and now it’s time to launch my speaking self out into the world.

How does one go about acquiring speaking engagements?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Growing Grass for A Cat

Our cat Tungston's plant eating habits and Laura’s suggestion led me to grow grass for the cat.

It takes eight days to grow a carton of grass.

I don’t know how long it takes to eat.

Tungston has stopped eating my plants. I don’t know if this is because of the cat grass or because I threw out her favourite plant.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Blondes Have More Fun?

Did you know that according to studies Blondes are perceived as less intelligent than Brunettes?

Did you know that Brunettes who dye their hair Blonde are perceived as less intelligent than they are?

Did you know that Blondes are perceived as sexier than Brunettes?

Did you know that Brunettes who dye their hair Blonde are perceived as sexier than they are?

Did you know that almost 50% of women lighten their hair? (according to Brian Bates, professor of psychology at the University of Brighton) Does this mean 50% of women want to be blonde or blonder?

Where am I going with this? I don’t know. Must be having a blonde moment.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Ducks on the Pool

April 1st, 2007

April 1st 2009

Every year a pair of Mallards drop down to our pool—usually on April 1st. This year my son phoned me from Ottawa to say, “There are ducks on the pool.” He was wrong. I checked.

He wasn’t really wrong, just early. The ducks showed up yesterday, four days late. Unfortunately we don’t have a picture of yesterday’s ducks as they were frightened off by some quick movement on the photographer’s part.

Just imagine the ducks in the above picture, as somewhat larger.

Monday, April 5, 2010

It's an itsy bitsy too small

Every year, my brother Al sends me a birthday card. The card usually arrives a few days before my birthday. I think this is because he carefully searches for just the right card and probably begins this search the day after my previous birthday.

His cards always make me laugh. They always show uncanny insight, are always appropriate, but never flattering.

Here is this year’s card. The uncanny part: Al has never seen my present bathing suit, but he matched the colours perfectly. The size is an itsy bitsy different.

You’re an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny…bit older! Happy Birthday.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

This has Something to do with Midriff Bulge

Birthdays are milestones or at least markers of life-changing events. I got married when I was 24. I had my first child when I was 26. I had my sixth child when I was 45. My parents died when I was 55. I had my first book published when I was 57. You get the drift.

So, I marked my 58th birthday with a milestone act.

On Tuesday, March 30th (a lovely day for a walk) Allison and I went for a walk. Often we head in the general direction of the mountain brow here in Hamilton, then sprint down the 286 steps and climb back up again with some huffing and puffing on my part. Then we walk the two kilometres back home.

On the occasion of my 58th birthday I not only sprinted down the 286 steps and huffed up the 286 steps, for the first time in my life I did this twice. My heart is beating faster just remembering the event.

Today my thighs hurt.

Possibly tomorrow I’ll do it again.