Monday, February 29, 2016

The Controller - Installment # 2 in which Mork introduces angels

Allen reaches for the intercom and asks Jenny, the bookkeeper, to come into his office.
Jenny is one door away. I like Jenny. She comes with Marvel who gets more work than I do. That’s because Jenny can be a little clumsy…big feet. Here they come.
The door falls open and Jennie would have tripped on the sill where the carpet begins, but Marvel is there to lift her foot that extra few millimetres.
Very dexterous, that Marvel. You might be wondering why Marvel can help Jennie with stuff like that and I don’t have the pleasure with my human. Marvel is allowed to be a very attentive guardian angel all day long because every morning when Jennie awakes, she prays to the Lord for help. Marvel told me about his daily instructions. I am so jealous. The instructions even vary from day to day, absolutely engaging for Marvel. He has the liberty to be creative, not quite like humanswe angels can’t make thingsbut he has a lot of answers to implement. 
Helping Jenny not to trip on the way into the room is not an exciting big deal and you might call it mundane, but any work is better than no work and is probably an answer to the prayer, ‘keep from being clumsy today’ or maybe ‘send your angels to guide me today.’ We angels love work and thrive on it. Of course the bigger the assignment the better. I'm patiently waiting for some juicy assignments.
You may be wondering why I refer to Marvel as ‘he.’ It’s a preference that’s all. We’re sexless angels so using sex-differentiating pronouns doesn’t entirely work, but to refer to one of us as an 'it' would be totally inappropriate. We’re not things, we are beings. We serve. 
I love our job. Well, I'll admit mine is a little boring right now, but there is potential in my human…especially if Jenny has a sayI’m not holding my breath but that could happenthey might even become romantically attracted. They are both single. He’s a little older. They look good together, would make a good couplejust my opinion of course. He is clean shaven, with trusting brown eyes, square chin, thick wavy hair, square shoulders, slight dimple in one cheekwhat else can I tell you?strong hands.  She is tall, slim, with short blonde haircute really, always smiling. I already told you about the big feet. The two of them actually have the same shoe size, something they haven’t yet discovered. 

Marvel and I are secretly rooting for them as a couple, not that we have a say. We are the servants, and content with that. 
We angels realized just how good we have it when we saw what happened to those who weren’t satisfied. You’ve heard of Satan? I don’t know a human who hasn’t. Well he wasn’t satisfied with the servant thing. He wanted to be the BOSS and he actually got what he wanted, sort of. He is a boss now…boss of a lot of us. He was able to convince one-third of all the angels to go for his spiel.  It is hard to blame them. What he said sounded so plausible at the time that I almost got taken in. Basically he lied. He said anyone who followed him would have it made, no more servant stuffnot true. Anyone who followed him could know everything God himself knowsnot true.
 I am grateful everyday for not following him. All those angelsdemons nowhave to listen to their new boss and resent every minute of it. Most of them take it out on you humans. That’s where a lot of our work comes in these days, undoing the work of demons. Take Nick for instance. He came in here with a couple of demons. Not the really bad ones, just a few minions. That’s the way it starts. A person attracts the minions who influence him until he asks them for help and they call in the bigger guys, the strongmen, and pretty soon there is this huge fortress we can’t access unless the person seriously wants out and asks God for help. I could tell you stories about battles. No time now, looks like I may be needed here. 

Thursday, February 11, 2016

The Controller - Installment # 1 in which we meet Allen the Controller

"I'm not sure you understand what I am supposed to be doing for this company...." 
Nick backs off, pulls up a chair and sits directly in front of Allen's desk. "Well, tell me. This is my company now and I need to know what my controller thinks."
By my wings, if that guy would just send up a simple prayer! I’m Mork, Allen’s guardian angel. I used to have more daily work when his mother was alive. Now, there was a prayer warrior, always praying for Allen and for his sister Melanie, and myriads of other people. We angels had plenty of interesting and entertaining work when that woman was alive.
Oh, just got an order. Don’t quite know what to do with it. I mean Allen could use some tips from his mom. “Get this guy out of my office.” Can you believe that? What kind of powerful prayer is that? Send my problem away. Does he not know this problem could use attention now?
Well, mine is not to question. Mine is to get Nick out of here.
Too bad Nick doesn’t have a guardian angel with him, I could use some help with this. If a guy doesn’t come with a guardian angel you know that God knows he is unlikely to ask for a stitch of help. The Nick-type guy thinks he can run the world on his own, thank you very much. Never asks for help. If and when he does, a bunch of us have orders to be ready to get on the case. That’s when you see amazing miracles. In the meantime his angel gets to do temporary assignments other places.
Allen pulls up a job description on his computer. He reads out, “My job is to safeguard assets and assure accurate and timely recording of all transactions by implementing disciplines of internal audits, controls and checks of this company.  This includes managing the accuracy and productivity of day-to-day activities of accounts payable, cash disbursements, invoicing/billing, customer credits and collections, payroll, perpetual inventory integrity, fixed asset records, entity accounting, cost accounting, etc.”
Way to go Allen. You will bore him out of here in no time.
“Develop, improve and issue timely monthly financial records for the board of directors.”
“There is no board of directors. I am the board,” Nick says.
“When did that happen?”
“Yesterday. They all resigned.” Nick looks at Allen stone-faced. 
Allen winces and continues, “I also have to assure financial plans are consistent with organizational goals, provide financial analysis tools to evaluate company ventures or special projects, etc., manage banking relationships, assure that assets are not awkwardly encumbered with personal guarantees or unrealistic commitments…”
“What does that even mean?” Nick asks.
“Basically I have to make sure this business is about this business and other commitments don’t get in the way.”
“Okay, I get it.” Nick stands up.
“There’s more.”
“Send me a memo.
Nick is doing the glance at the watch thing. I don’t think he actually looked at the time. That’s just my opinion, of course.
Nick is out of here. Prayer answered without my help.
Allen puts his head in his hands. “Lord, what will I do?” 
Okay, that prayer will go directly to the throne room of God and if Allen tunes in he will hear an answer. My guess is that he is not expecting an answer and won’t hear it. There it is, “Trust me.” Clear as a church bell.
“Lord, why don’t you answer me.” Allen looks up at the ceiling, 
Told you, he is not listening. Sometimes I would just like to give him a little seminar. Not in my job description. Too bad!

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Dealing with my NaNoWriMo Novel

In November 2015 along with 1000's of other people from all over the world I signed up to write a novel in a month. For a month I wrote 2000 words per day, six days a week.

At the end of the month I received a NaNoWriMo certificate, which I have since misplaced, and a Winner's T-shirt which I let myself buy...for big bucks if you include the exchange rate.

Oh yes, and I also have a 202-page manuscript which I printed out in January and finally finished reading in February. This manuscript needs work, lots of work. Right now I have a rough first draft with inconsistencies and extraneous details.

So now what? I've decided to share my work with you. As I work through this thing, I'll be posting the edited bits. My hope is that the story will capture your attention. My other hope is that since I am brave enough to post this thing in its imperfect second draft, you will be equally brave enough to point out the flaws. Comments are solicited and welcomed. If you start reading and then decide you can't be bothered, tell me why. If the story is confusing or annoying, or just plain boring let me know. If you are appreciating the story, let me know that as well.

The Controller

Random bit:

Allen feels like a waffling procrastinator. "Lord I hate my life."

I love you Allen.

Lord, You can't love me; I don't deserve your love.

I love you Allen.

I'm cheap, nasty, uncommitted, judgemental and hateful. How can you love me?

I love you Allen.

I can't even do what you ask me to do I don't want to go to that church. I hate Pastor John. I hate my job. I hate going to work and not doing anything. I hate making decisions. 

I love you Allen.

I haven't even read your Word for the last month, how can you love me? Jenny and I don't get together to pray any more. My life is pretty well meaningless.

I love you Allen.

Allen puts on his alligator pyjamas and crawls into bed. It's only seven o'clock. He dreams strange crazy dreams that don't make sense.