Tuesday, September 28, 2010
"Well, there's the sink. You can splash water in your eye." She left, quietly closing the door behind her.
I walked over to the sink, eye still stinging and burning and watering. I turned on the tap and splashed water with both hands up into both eyes."
Now my face was dripping wet and both eyes were stinging and burning and closed.
There wasn't a towel. I tried to wipe my face with my paper gown which disintegrated wherever I touched it, except the plastic ribbon which was impossible to undo and took all the strength of this blind Samson to break.
After wrestling out of my disintegrating paper bag and plastic ribbon, and through squinted burning stinging watering eyes, I dressed. By the time I had everything back on, the stinging had stopped and my eyes opened. I could drive home by myself after all.
Moral of the story: Don't blindly follow your doctor's orders.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Dutifully I removed everything and wrapped myself in paper. With some difficulty I tied the short plastic ribbon at the waist—a not-so-gentle reminder to lose weight. The paper came to just above my knees, exposing furry legs.
The doctor came in. She directed me onto the examining table. I apologized for not shaving my legs.
She judged my legs as perfectly acceptable now that summer was over—at least that's what she said. I love my doctor.
After the examination, as she was writing me a prescription for the nummular eczema on my thigh, I absent-mindedly rubbed my left eye before putting my glasses back on.
Instantly my eye began to sting and burn and water and close.
Squinting and tearing, I explained about the tomato sauce and the cherry bomb peppers. The doctor was very interested in my recipe, but enquired, "Didn't you wash your hands?"
Friday, September 24, 2010
I planned to cook up and freeze my sauce that Monday between loads of laundry and my annual physical at the doctor's.
The annual physical was most important, as I hadn't had one for about ten years. I don't know why it's called 'annual.'
So, at 10 o'clock, I stopped cutting up tomatoes and peppers, put the sauce on simmer, and quickly washed my hands before driving over to the doctor's office.
A nurse led me to an examination room, weighed me, took my blood pressure, and told me to take everything off to put on the gown.
"Which gown?" I asked looking around.
"That gown," she pointed to a piece of paper on the examining table.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Psalm one declares that a person who avoids evil and delights in God's law "is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers." Psalm 1:3
I thought about how all these different trees were like the women at the conference, everyone unique.
I asked the Lord, "Which one am I?"
He directed my attention to a white cross off in the distance.
"You mean I'm a dead piece of wood?" Rather disappointing, I thought.
In my spirit I heard, "Yes, and I'm nailed to you."
Later at the conference the speaker spoke of nails as mentioned in Ecclesiates 12:11, "The words of the wise are like goads. Their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one Shepherd."
Later at the conference, I also had an opportunity to say something. I told a stupid joke, to get a laugh. I could have shared my experience with the Lord, to give wisdom.
Words are indeed powerful. I want mine to be "like firmly embedded nails—given by one Shepherd."
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
If your name is not spelled correctly on a diploma have you still graduated?
If your name is misspelled on your birth certificate were you still born?
And, if your name is spelled incorrectly on your driver's license does that mean somebody else is driving your car?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The “Get Lost Wasp!” stimulates a wasp’s nest with colours and patterns that work successfully on yellowjackets. As wasps are very territorial creatures and an average wasp nest has a 200 foot territorial radius, wasps will instinctively flee an area they find to contain an unfamiliar nest. That’s what the package claims.
Ours isn’t working.