Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Family Day and Another Prorogation

Check out this review of Blooming, by Janet Sketchley at God With Us: Finding Joy.

Happy Family Day. Our extended family on my husband's side started a family day tradition last year. All the aunts, uncles and cousins (as many as are available) meet at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Toronto for supper.

Following a tradition set by our Prime Minister, I am proroguing this blog until after the Olympics.

Friday, February 12, 2010

A Week in the Laundry Room

Monday - We wash the clothes, wash the clothes, wash the clothes. It's laundry day today.

Tuesday - Scrub the floor, scrub the floor, scrub the floor under the washer and dryer.

Wednesday - The gas man comes, the gas man comes the gas man comes to cut the gas, cut the gas, cut the gas.

Thursday - Take them away, take them away, take them away, take away our washer and dryer.

Friday - The clothes are dirty, the clothes are dirty, the clothes are dirty. Where are my new appliances?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Joke

At Steeltown Toastmasters tonight I am doing a speech which requires a joke as the introduction. I found this joke on the internet and have adjusted it to suit my speech. If you are going to be at Steeltown Toastmasters this evening (everyone is invited), don't read this.

My son had a summer job maintaining lawns and tending greens at a golf course. As one of the perks, he could golf as much as he liked (on his off time of course).

So several times a week, after work he would shoot 9 holes before heading home.

On this particular day he met up with an older fellow, at the first T-off and they decided to golf together. This old fellow had been golfing at that course for years and could probably play it with his eyes closed. He didn't have much of a back swing or follow through anymore, but that didn't seem to slow him down. All his shoots were straight and true, like bullets along the ground.

It wasn't too long until they got to the ninth hole. My son's shoot curved left ending up behind a big old pine tree. The tree was directly between his ball and the green.

As Paul was sizing up the possibilities the old man piped up, "When I was your age, sonny, I could hit my ball right over that tree."

Taking up the challenge, Paul took his wedge, lined up his shot, swung way back and pitched the ball. The ball hit the tree and landed right back at his feet.

"Of course, when I was your age, said the man "that tree was only three feet tall."

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Talk and the Walk

Why the Bible is My Favourite Book

1. The Bible is full of wisdom

2. The Bible is full of drama

3. The Bible contains beautiful poetry

4. The Bible is profound

5. The Bible is true

6. the Bible is alive

7. The Bible reveals God's heart

8. The Bible tells me how to live

9. There is always more to discover and uncover in the Bible

10. The Bible is the Word of God

What I Find Myself Doing When I Intend to Read the Bible

1. Sleeping a little longer

2. Day-dreaming

3. Playing with the cat

4. Laundry

5. Answering the phone

6. Picking up the newspaper

7. Sending off a quick e-mail

8. Checking facebook a minute

9. Reading my favourite blogs

10. Making a cup of tea

Repeated Good Fortune

This morning I received another email from another British woman dying of cancer wanting to give me, a total stranger, $15 million US. That's two fortunes in as many weeks.

Don't believe me? Here is her letter in full. Try to ignore the grammatical errors. The rich people who contact me don't seem to care much about spelling and grammar. (I left the contact information out in case someone out there might think to impersonate me and abscond with the money.)

Hello Dear Friend,

My name is Mrs. Vivian Cole, an American married to British. I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to Orphanage homes and churches. I Was diagnosed for cancer about 4 years ago, Immediately after the death of my husband, who Has Left me everything he worked for in the United Kingdom which he deposited with a bank in England in My names, I have been touched by God to donate for the good work of God, rather than allow my husband Relatives use my husband hard earned funds for ungodly activities for we had no child and he was so partionate about helping the Less privileged. Please pray that the good Lord forgive me my sins.

I have asked God to forgive me and believe he has because He is a merciful God. I will be going in for the operation in some days from now, I decided to Will/donate the sum of $15.000,000.00 fifteen million United States Dollars for the work of the lord and also to help the motherless and less Privilege and also for the assistance of the Widows.

At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls due to the fact that my Throat is bad. I have adjusted my WILL and my lawyer is aware I have changed my will. You will arrange the transfer of the Funds from my account to your personal account in your Country. May the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please Use this fund well and extend the good work to others. Contact my Lawyer with these specified details: He is a British Man.

Livingstone Advocates And Solicitors.
Barrister Leonard Mckean.

And tell him that I have informed you to assist me is completing my plans for the less privileged of our society today. Use 70% for the help of the needy and take 30% for yourself. I have been directed to do this when I went into fasting and prayers for GOD to give me a good hearted person to do his work. Provide me with below informations of yourself to know whom I am having dealings With, I can not talk for due to my illness.

Full Names: passport/ Valid Identity always pray for the success of this project to be fulfilled. I know there will be obstacle, prayers changes all. I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don't want anything that will jeopardize my last wish. God be with you, AMEN.

Mrs. Vivian Cole.

NB: Please we can communicate via email, cant talk because of my throat problem:

Friday, February 5, 2010

My Not-So-Secret Obsessive Behaviour

Years ago when computer games were in their infancy, I played Tetris. I mean I played Tetris obsessively, always trying to better my score which got to a level that took at least an hour of playing to reach. Finally the game so took over my life, that I quit, cold turkey.
It was a relief to have the hours back to do other things.

Well, the Wii has brought me another obsession. Sunday I spent hours flying my plane over Wahu Island looking for (i) points to fly through. I have 74 (i)s. There are 80, but then I can fly through these (i)s in the evening and at night as well. I can chalk up 240 (i)s. My problem: motion sickness. Yes, my head is spinning inside. Even now as I think of flying that plane I feel nauseous. There goes another obsession.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Obedience or Sacrifice?

Samuel said, Has the Lord as great a delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. (I Samuel 16:22 Amplified)

When we had our week of prayer and fasting at the church, I saw in a dream that I was to fast sweets. I decided this was a 21-day fast. So, for 21 days I avoided sweets. Well, on two occasions I indulged—once at a fund-raising dinner and once last Saturday at a friend’s house where I was served a totally delicious fruit cobbler with a small scoop of ice cream—both times refusing the dessert would have meant unduly drawing attention to my sacrifice (as I am doing now).

Which brings me to my question—was this fast obedience or was it sacrifice?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Clear Instructions From Jesus

Then Jesus called together the Twelve and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases. And He sent them out to announce and preach the kingdom of God and to bring healing. Luke 9:1&2

We have that same power and authority. Let’s walk in it.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Irony is a Tricky Thing

When I was in grade 9 I wrote this poem.


Where have I come from?
How did I start?
To answer these questions,
My history,
Did I chart.
An amazing discovery have I found:
An ape was I once,
But so,
I could not be content,
And down,
I climbed from my tree.
Wonder of all wonders!
A brain came to me;
And off my hair did fall,
My skin
I could see.
I did not feel decent in that naked state.
To answer my problem
Some clothes I did make;
A perfect solution it did be.
So I went on,
To make for me;
Houses and,
Ships and,
And planes.
And that is where I came from!
That’s how I did start!

At the time, I considered the poem pure irony (sarcastic even). The scenario seemed so totally ridiculous. Anyone reading my poem would instantly denounce the unbelievable Darwinian theory of evolution. With a single poem, I could set mankind back on the right track. Surely if anyone thought about it more than a few seconds, they would realize reality was much too complicated to be reduced to chance happenings.

I was wrong. The Sunday after the poem was published as a runner-up in the junior poetry category in the high school yearbook, my dad was summoned in to the church council room by the elders of the church we attended.

The elders were concerned about his daughter’s strange new beliefs.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Danger at the Fuel Pumps

After years of pumping my own fuel, I finally noticed (actually my daughter drew my attention to it) that I have been living dangerously.

There is a sign posted on the side of the fuel pump that prints out the danger: "Failure to fully discharge may ignite gasoline vapours."

Do you discharge your static electricity before using the pump? Has anyone ever started a fire this way?